Monday, June 8, 2015

The Wonder of Change

Well, I feel for some reason I need to blog again. I am not very consistent with posting- simply writing when I feel led to. Thank you to those who are truly interested in my life and supporting me with your prayers.

This week I am taking a trip with my Mom. I’ve been desperate for a vacation and glad it is finally approaching. My life has had some changes in it and I know it always helps to get away for a while- to escape the normal and cherish it a little more when you return!

Two months ago I was laid off. Leaving work that day the radio sang out, “I know He holds my life, my future in His hands” [Because He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher] and I knew all would be for His glory! The Lord graciously allowed my little niece to be born on the same day and gave me so much joy in the disappointment. I’m looking for a job and that comes with an entire bucket of frustrations, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the “time off” to love on my niece and nephew! They are growing so quickly and I keep having the nagging feeling that I won’t always be a part of their daily lives. They bring a smile to my face and heart!

I’ve been taking this time to go through all the boxes of “stuff” I’ve acquired through the years. It’s been a lot harder than I thought- not the decisions of what to part with, but the re-living of the memories. Realizing my selfishness as a teenager and the foolishness of my heart. How I wish I had cherished the people that matter the most. Friendships come and go- that’s part of life, but, I know now that my family will not always be there. My sister isn’t here to make any more memories with and I know that other families face that fact too. It’s a reality check, one that I am reminded of daily.

That is why a circumstance that could be upsetting is a precious gift from God! To spend time with my family and with the Lord has been such a huge blessing! Seeing the wonder and excitement of a child and knowing that I am God's- yet where is my wonder and excitement at the new things He shows me?

I have had some amazing times in God’s Word and He has been filling my dry soul with the water of His promises! I am amazed at how the Lord places me exactly where I need to be! I have watched Godly people speak His truth into individual’s lives and I am ready. I am ready to be the one speaking! Yet I am so humbled by my inadequacy and an overwhelming reality that I will never understand fully His grace, wisdom and sovereignty.

So, change is here once again. How will He use me? How will He instruct me? How will He love me? It's a wonder to discover! 


Thursday, January 29, 2015

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

     The hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" has been a favorite song that has followed me throughout my life but especially through my college years and beyond! It was one that I struggled to sing when times were hard and it took almost a year before I could play it in church after Amy died. I love the passage of scripture where it is quoted.... Lamentations 3:22-24 "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.""

     This past year has been a busy one: my sister's engagement and marriage, a new car, a baby shower, my nephew's birth, a friend's wedding, a conference in Arizona, many friend's came to visit, a niece on the way, time together with family, and work. Work. That's a crazy word that satisfies many people's wondering's about my life. Well, the happenings of the past two weeks has jolted my life a bit and I would like to write a little about my one "job" that I had. It was a different kind of work and one that I am most grateful to have had and gone through.




      Dale and Dorthy had attended my church since I was a little girl, but I never really got to know them until I got a call from my pastor, met with their daughter, and started caring for them every weekend! It was a blessing to have another part-time job! Even though their health was bad and they were elderly, they taught me so much! They opened up their hearts to me! They were joyful and accepting of the help I gave them. Never have I met any couple who has been so thankful for each little thing that I did for them no matter if it was cooking super or combing their hair! Dorothy would kiss my hand and hold it to her face- her sign of affection and thankfulness and love. Dale was just so thankful and joyful for the smallest thing- like gumdrops and compliments! His laugh was infectious! They taught me so much about marriage, about life, about love. Many people knew them when they were younger and could get around better and communicate better. But the Lord knew I needed to know them now. Now, when Dale struggled to talk understandably and when Dorothy was so forgetful. They both struggled with various pains. Soon after I started working there was when Amy went into the hospital and joined the Lord shortly after. It was hard for me to care for Dale and Dorothy because of the various reminders of Amy's hospitalization, but it was so good for me to face them also. Through caring for them, I was able to force myself to see miracles in the little things again. I had time to study God's Word while they took their morning naps and I learned to sing again! They were much like my own grandparents that had entered heavens gates not too long ago. They had attended the same church and had "hung out" together! Dale was a veteran and so was my grandpa! Dorothy had loved to cook and garden, and so did my grandma!


      Two weeks ago, Dorothy joined my grandma and grandpa and sister in heaven. She had struggled with a sickness and was ready to go. It was sad, it was hard. I was "The Greenawalt Girl" to her. She taught me how to do crossword puzzles and to realize that it can be exciting to watch cows! We enjoyed doing laundry together and eating and talking!

      Three days later- the day of Dorothy's funeral- I heard that Dale had joined her. It was unexpected and all were in shock. In all reality, I think he just wanted to be with her and couldn't wait any longer. There were times when they "put up" with each other, but there were other times that they were so sweet to one another! Dorothy may have forgotten many things, but she seemed to always remember that Dale was her husband! He checked on her often and if she got too worked up he would get up to find out what was wrong. He had a compassion and a love for her and for those who cared for him. He spoke his mind, but laughed things off- somehow forbidding the moment to turn awkward! He was the most fit and active older man that I have ever met!   


     Grief is a weird thing for me. There are little precious things that I see or experience that reminds me of the one I am missing. I tend to hold these moments in- not wanting to share them in case they may spoil simply by sharing them. But sometimes it is better to share- to help someone else see the legacy an individual left. It's how they continue to teach. When I experienced the lose of my sister, the thing I missed the most was sitting and holding her hand. Well, the Lord knew that and gave me such a great gift: to hold the hands of these two dear people and feed them and brush their hair and to sing to them- all the things that I had missed doing with my sister so much. It was a wonderful, wonderful gift! Though days were wearysome- it never really felt like a job. I was so blessed to have had these two people in my life! Heaven has healed them both entirely and I have healed through serving them. God has faithfully been weaving my path and has given me the strength I've needed so desperately at times! I am so thankful for His love and grace that have seen me through and will continue to surround me in the future!