Monday, June 8, 2015

The Wonder of Change

Well, I feel for some reason I need to blog again. I am not very consistent with posting- simply writing when I feel led to. Thank you to those who are truly interested in my life and supporting me with your prayers.

This week I am taking a trip with my Mom. I’ve been desperate for a vacation and glad it is finally approaching. My life has had some changes in it and I know it always helps to get away for a while- to escape the normal and cherish it a little more when you return!

Two months ago I was laid off. Leaving work that day the radio sang out, “I know He holds my life, my future in His hands” [Because He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher] and I knew all would be for His glory! The Lord graciously allowed my little niece to be born on the same day and gave me so much joy in the disappointment. I’m looking for a job and that comes with an entire bucket of frustrations, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the “time off” to love on my niece and nephew! They are growing so quickly and I keep having the nagging feeling that I won’t always be a part of their daily lives. They bring a smile to my face and heart!

I’ve been taking this time to go through all the boxes of “stuff” I’ve acquired through the years. It’s been a lot harder than I thought- not the decisions of what to part with, but the re-living of the memories. Realizing my selfishness as a teenager and the foolishness of my heart. How I wish I had cherished the people that matter the most. Friendships come and go- that’s part of life, but, I know now that my family will not always be there. My sister isn’t here to make any more memories with and I know that other families face that fact too. It’s a reality check, one that I am reminded of daily.

That is why a circumstance that could be upsetting is a precious gift from God! To spend time with my family and with the Lord has been such a huge blessing! Seeing the wonder and excitement of a child and knowing that I am God's- yet where is my wonder and excitement at the new things He shows me?

I have had some amazing times in God’s Word and He has been filling my dry soul with the water of His promises! I am amazed at how the Lord places me exactly where I need to be! I have watched Godly people speak His truth into individual’s lives and I am ready. I am ready to be the one speaking! Yet I am so humbled by my inadequacy and an overwhelming reality that I will never understand fully His grace, wisdom and sovereignty.

So, change is here once again. How will He use me? How will He instruct me? How will He love me? It's a wonder to discover!