Well,
I feel for some reason I need to blog again. I am not very consistent with
posting- simply writing when I feel led to. Thank you to those who are truly
interested in my life and supporting me with your prayers.
This
week I am taking a trip with my Mom. I’ve been desperate for a vacation and
glad it is finally approaching. My life has had some changes in it and I know
it always helps to get away for a while- to escape the normal and cherish it a
little more when you return!
Two
months ago I was laid off. Leaving work that day the radio sang out, “I know He
holds my life, my future in His hands” [Because
He Lives (Amen) by Matt Maher] and I knew all would be for His glory! The
Lord graciously allowed my little niece to be born on the same day and gave me
so much joy in the disappointment. I’m looking for a job and that comes with an
entire bucket of frustrations, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the “time off” to
love on my niece and nephew! They are growing so quickly and I keep having the
nagging feeling that I won’t always be a part of their daily lives. They bring
a smile to my face and heart!
I’ve been taking this time to go through all the boxes of “stuff” I’ve acquired through
the years. It’s been a lot harder than I thought- not the decisions of what to
part with, but the re-living of the memories. Realizing my selfishness as a teenager
and the foolishness of my heart. How I wish I had cherished the people
that matter the most. Friendships come and go- that’s part of life, but, I know now that my
family will not always be there. My sister isn’t here to make any more memories with and I know
that other families face that fact too. It’s a reality check, one that I am
reminded of daily.
That is why a circumstance that could be upsetting is a
precious gift from God! To spend time with my family and with the Lord has been
such a huge blessing! Seeing the wonder and excitement of a child and knowing that I am God's- yet where is my wonder and excitement at the new things He shows me?
I have had some amazing times in God’s Word and He has
been filling my dry soul with the water of His promises! I
am amazed at how the Lord places me exactly where I need to be! I have watched Godly
people speak His truth into individual’s lives and I am ready. I am ready to be
the one speaking! Yet I am so humbled by my inadequacy and an overwhelming
reality that I will never understand fully His grace, wisdom and sovereignty.
So, change is here once again. How will He use me? How will He instruct me? How will He love me? It's a wonder to discover!
