Monday, April 22, 2013

It's been a hard winter...

Two weeks ago today my sister walked into Heaven. This morning someone came and took her wheelchairs. Thinking through this task last night I realized that the wheelchair was not a restriction to Amy- it was her freedom on earth. We took her everywhere we possibly could in those chairs! We were annoyed with places that weren't accessible and carried her up places some people would have thought dangerous. Amy's chains was her physical body and her chains are now gone and now I'm hoping someone who also has physical earthly chains can use the wheelchairs that are no longer needed for Amy.... 

It's been a hard winter.
My brother and sister-in-law went to Montana for the winter. 
I started a weekend job taking care of an elderly couple.
A friend, diagnosed with cancer, started treatments. 
My grandfather entered Heaven in January. 
A friend's baby entered Heaven. 
And then Amy... 
We spent a month in the hospital getting our hopes up and dashed daily. 
She was a gem in our lives. 
Her gift was her smile and the twinkle in her eyes!
Oh how I miss her- the squeeze of her hand, her laughter, her presence. 
How I wish I had spent more time with her. 
I so look forward to spending eternity with her- to hear what her voice sounds like, to see her eating all her favorite foods, to see her praising God with her whole body! 
And now we start a new chapter- whether we like it or not. 
I'm realizing how important people are and how selfish I've been. 
God placed Amy in our lives to show us His love. 
I don't care what God wants to do with me, where He wants me to be. 
I just want to show others His love- like Amy did. 
I'm tired of throwing temper tantrums at God- if my dreams are not His then I'm ready to accept that. 
I'm still struggling with why and I'm still hurting- a lot. 


  1. Dear Emily - I know God has used Amy in your lives so much. It was through Amy that I saw how caring and tender you were with her and I know many others saw that in all of your family. By your care and love for her - you were sharing Jesus with more than you can know!! Love you all and praying for you in this hard time.

  2. She was a gem Emily, and so are you. We miss her too. Hugs from us all.

  3. Hi Emily,

    You don't know me, so this probably won't mean too much (and if you can't tell, I've always been bad at starting conversations).

    My name's Nate, and I went to ABC with James and Laura--and I'm praying for you and your family. I can't begin to understand the pain of losing a sister, I don't have any; but I've lost close family before and I know that the hurt from separation doesn't fully go away in this life.
    Remember that you are not alone, and there's a host of people praying for you; including one very-nearly complete stranger in central Montana.